Like so many little girls, I used to dream of what life would be like living in a castle far, far away — beautiful and magical, like the “happily ever afters” of so many Disney princess movies. Of course, time and experience grow us out of those dreams. Walking through Dunrobin Castle further solidified how I don’t believe that life would be quite as dreamy as I once imagined. There was certainly a sheer amount of wealth on display in each room — ornate tapestries, grand paintings, sumptuous furniture — but I also saw evidence of how the few women of that class must have felt so trapped and so bored.

Ethan took a few vacation days following our time with 20 Schemes, and on one of the free days we explored some nearby towns. We’ve visited several castle ruins in Germany and now in Scotland, so I really wanted to see a castle that is still furnished. While Dunrobin’s history is interesting, it isn’t one of those extra-famous landmarks. Knowing it belonged to a duke and duchess helped me frame what life at that station might have been like (as I recently read a delightful fictional series in which one of the main characters is a duke).

Inside the castle were a variety of rooms: formal dining rooms, breakfast rooms, and tea-sitting rooms were just a few, each for the explicit purpose of food. Then there was the formal library in addition to the duke’s private study. The duchess had her own private quarters; the children their playroom and bedrooms; there were servant rooms, sewing rooms—and on and on it went. While this place would make for an almost impossible game of hide-and-seek, I cannot even imagine the maintenance required—not just within the castle walls and it’s 189 rooms, but even the enormous garden alone. The sheer amount of staff required for upkeep is incomprehensible.

Someone once told me, “The bigger the house, the more there is to clean, and the more spaces for your kids to be disconnected from one another.” In a social-media world that portrays the American dream as a large mansion with a decent stitch of land, we often fail to see the cost for families who own such space. Of course, it’s not inherently sinful to own and steward much, but it does situate the family unit in such a way that demands extra intention, extra care, and extra time.

And so we enjoyed touring the spaces and imagining what life might have been like back then, for this select elite who were certainly blessed with comfort and coastal views at every turn. But I was also happy to return to my own home, where I can bring a little bit of that inspiration into our smaller space.